Home > rant, vegan > The haggis that broke the Scot’s back.

The haggis that broke the Scot’s back.

Ok, two quick things:  a) I won’t bother explaining how I got from the Bad Astronomy blog to finding a vegetarian recipe for haggis, but trust me, it was a logical progression even though a bit convoluted.  b)  This is, I believe, my first full blown rant!  Yeah!

I want to say up front that I have absolutely no issue with vegetarians, vegans, (most of) their dishes, etc.  I know quite a few people who fall under the umbrella title of vegetarian and many of them are good friends.  I also enjoy many, many dishes that have no animal products in them whatsoever.  Again this is not what the rant is about.  It is specifically (and only) about what some people choose to call certain vegetarian dishes.

Like I pointed out earlier, I stumbled across a recipe for vegetarian haggis.  What the hell is it with some people having to twist and bend and who knows what else to a recipe to make it into something that it is clearly not and will never be!  I can get behind a veggie burger because here “burger” denotes a shape and style of cooking.  Yes, it clearly derives from a hamburger, which is meat.  But if you just say “burger” to anyone around you, they will automatically assume most of the following three things: 1) something in the shape of a patty, 2) something that is either fried or grilled, and 3) something that is made of meat or meat-substitute.  Even if they automatically go to meat, by saying veggie burger, they know it is not beef, much like the qualifier of bison, ostrich, venison, or whatever else you are making the burger out of.  Two out of the three assumptions have nothing to do with the actual content of the burger.  Hence in my rosy world, it’s fine.  I’m usually ok with the “vegetarian” meatloafs, but I can get cranky about that if I’m not in a decent mood to begin with.  Tofu is by far the biggest violator of pretending to be something that it is not.  Seriously, what the @*^%$^ is tofu bacon???  (I’ve got the same issue with turkey bacon, I’m just singling out tofu here because this rant is about misnamed vegetarian products).  Instead of forcing tofu into whatever meat you desire, why can’t you just celebrate tofu for the wonderful ingredient that it is.  Just to give one example, it adds texture and body to a very large percentage of Asian dishes all on its own merits.  Are there that many vegetarians yearning to have some form of meat in their diet that they have to manufacture fake meat?  You don’t see omnivores going around saying, “You know, with a bit seasoning, I bet I could make this steak taste like a great Greek salad.”  So back to what initially set me off, haggis.  Using the quasi-rubric that I set up with burgers, the only assumption that has nothing to do with meat is the shape.  ALL of it’s primary ingredients are offal!  It’s COOKED inside of a stomach!  How can you possibly turn that into something vegetarian?  Oh, wait, someone did!  Well, they did only in name.  BECAUSE IT’S A *%*&#$%^ HOTDISH!!!  (or if you prefer, casserole).

There is an unbelievable amount of vegetarian dishes out in the world that taste great without even coming close to faking some kind of meat.  So why don’t these people venture outside of their “comfort zone” and try some Asian, or Indian, or Mexican, or whatever type of cuisine you want because they ALL have some purely vegetarian dishes!

Just to leave on a happy note, here is Alton Brown’s haggis recipe.

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Categories: rant, vegan Tags:
  1. Werner Winzer
    November 25, 2012 at 8:36 am

    Vegetarian dishes are tasty and of course very nutritious. ;

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